Ekpenyong.us! is finally online.
What has taken so long?
Well, the crux of the matter is that I am a perfectionist. Not the good kind. The good kind of perfectionist has a huge amount of “get ‘er done” (technical term… but I think it communicates) that allows (forces?) them to bring their perfect ideas into imperfect reality. But regardless of how many flaws they see, excellence is usually the product of their hands.
I tend towards the bad kind of perfectionism. I get completely wrapped up in dealing with any foreseeable problem real or otherwise before I even get off the couch! Of course you can’t solve problems that don’t actually exist. By solve I mean actually resolving and ending a dilemma. And since I can’t solve the problem… meaning it exists in my mind and won’t go away… I am defeated… done… finito. I am mentally too exhausted to try, or locked up because something in me refuses to act until ALL problems are SOLVED.
So I haven’t revamped the site.
I haven’t blogged.
I haven’t finished the kitchen remodel.
I haven’t worked out since last fall.
I haven’t fixed the driver’s side window on my car.
I haven’t organized the study…
My only hope (and I am not kidding) has been that God invented time and demanding people. OK so it is a flawed hope, but demanding people have deadlines. Deadlines, no matter how far off steadily… uncompromisingly… resolutely demand that you SOLVE the problem and END the dilemma. Demanding people make sure you know that the deadline is coming and if you miss that deadline they will suddenly become your closest, most constant human relationship.
Basically, deadlines warn that the current situation is about to become intolerable. Missing a deadline causes the current situation to become so intolerable; you must SOLVE it or run from it. Running is cowardice, and would make me a liar… and would create a whole host of new problems…. Suffice it to say I am grateful for ulcer causing deadlines and demanding people. Those are the irritants that remind me I need God’s grace to live and act maturely. However, there isn’t a deadline or a demanding person connected with this personal web site…
So, I guess you are witnessing a bone fide miracle…
Hope you like the new site!
Regards,
Uwem