Sista’s Thoughts

An excercise in Humility…
It is a joyful and painful experience to submit yourself for training in an area of weakness. There are emotions of intense embarassment, freedom, and some other emotion that I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s interesting to me that when you release an area of weakness to be trained by someone who is stronger at that than you, although it can be very difficult, I can also result in a euphoric freedom unparallelled by others. The idea that comes to mind is that of someone who has been in prison for 35 years and one day someone helps them discover the “key” to gaining their freedom. And even though the “key” represents a painful process, the result is the same and indeed much more in marriage since you are not alone in the struggle but as you struggle you are carrying your mate through it too. Praise God for his amazing compassion and kindness, that he doesn’t leave me here to rot in my weakness. No, instead he lovingly draws me to himself to find the grace and strength to confront the weakness head on and find healing on the other side. Now this is a 35 year old pattern which means that the process is bound to be a long battle for which perserverance and faithfulness is needed. These are two character aspects that when I survey myself I seem to find are in short supply. I have noticed in myself a tendency to lay down in the face of something that is an area of fear or insecurity for me instead of pushing through and experiencing God’s strength, grace, and peace to push through on the other side. You know it’s funny last week in Community group at church, Uwem made an observation that has interestingly become appropriate for me in this…… The context of Jer. 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.” This is a verse of comfort to me that I can trust in the heart of my Heavenly Father to take care of me even when the outcome is uncertain if not frightening. The context of this verse is that the children of Israel were about to head into a long period of captivity and God gave them this to hang on to. You know, that’s totally against what the world tells us. The world would say life is only good if you get to do what you want, when you want it, among other things, right? But the truth is that in submission to a Loving, Holy God there is freedom no matter what the life circumstance is. We can see several examples of this in the letters the Apostle Paul writes even about his own captivity.
You know and maybe I’m overspiritualizing my struggle over being a clutter bug but the emotions are very real and very strong at this stage of the game. Praise God that He holds me fast in his arms as I go through this and that He gives me the strength to move through and grow out of the areas of weakness that I have. I know this is really just beginning but I’m so glad He has helped me to see this about my struggle.
Thanks Lord! Amen.
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